Reflections of a Grateful Adoptee
연결된 이야기| On Family, Business & Legacy — The One with Sam White| Episode 21 (2025)
“Where everybody else has to get what they get, you were chosen. We saw you and knew that you were ours from the very beginning.”
— Sam recalling his mother’s words about being adopted
“I try to help people feel the same warmth of being chosen — as a friend, a life partner, a pickleball partner. Just creating warmth wherever I can.”
— Sam on how adoption shaped his relational style
BLOG POST
Another beautiful episode, another amazing human, because why break a winning streak? Still riding the wave of celebrating the men in our lives, today’s story features Mr. Sam White. Sam and I became acquainted with the noble battleground of pickleball, a place where the best stories began. He’s a new dad, a devoted husband, an adoptee, an entrepreneur, and the heart behind Real Estates and Relationships. In other words, he’s wearing more hats than a department store mannequin. In this episode, we explore identity, fatherhood, family, business, and the beautiful, chaotic dance of balancing it all. Grab a drink and enjoy the ride.
Chosen Love and a Life of Warmth
You know the drill, guys; we start from the start. At the same time, some stories start in hospitals or hometowns. Sam White’s began in the hearts of two people who chose him long before he could understand what that meant. He grew up in Chandler, Arizona, in a home filled with love, activity, and a strong sense of community through church. His dad, he shared, was a “simple man,” quiet but profoundly wise when he spoke. His mom, on the other hand, was more fast-paced. Sam sees himself between both personalities. He spent his childhood immersed in sports, student government, and numerous activities, as he loved being around people. After high school, he moved to Denver, Colorado, for college. It was there he discovered that snow, while fun in theory, isn’t quite as lovable in practice.
Sam also opened up about his adoption story, which profoundly shaped his worldview and sense of identity. Biologically, he’s majority Black with some European ancestry. He was adopted at six months old by Douglas and Cynthia White, a Black couple from North Carolina. After a miscarriage, they chose to adopt and became parents to Sam while living in Chicago, where they pastored a small church. They later moved to Arizona, where he was raised.
Sam has a younger sister, also adopted, who’s eleven years his junior. While not biologically related, they share such a strong family resemblance in spirit and connection that people often comment on how well their family “fits” together. To Sam, imagining life without them feels strange.
The magic in this part was how intentional his parents, especially his mom, were about framing his adoption in a positive light. Sam recalled learning about it as early as kindergarten. His mom was concerned that schoolkids might use “adopted” as an insult, so she made sure Sam embraced it fully before anyone else could try to weaponize it. Her message was simple but powerful: “You were chosen. Where everyone else has to get what they get, we saw you and knew you were ours from the very beginning.”
That mindset has shaped Sam’s relationships. He tries to infuse them with the same sense of warmth, acceptance, and intentionality. Whether as a friend, a life partner, or even a pickleball teammate, Sam says he tries to convey the same feeling of being chosen and deeply valued. And in his mom’s words that still ring true today: “Adopted just means loved differently.”
Creating Belonging Through Culture and Curiosity
I’ve had my fair share of conversations around adoption as an adoptive parent, including one that stood out, a podcast episode with Christelle Pellecuer. She shared her experience growing up as a Madagascan adoptee raised by French parents in a rural part of France and how she’s now on a journey to reconnect with her Black identity. Reflecting on that, I asked Sam if he had a similar experience and how adoptive parents can support cultural belonging, especially in cross-cultural adoptions.
Because Sam was adopted into a Black family, cultural familiarity was already part of his upbringing. But the environment around him also played a key role. He grew up in Arizona, which he described as the most culturally diverse place he has lived. Unlike places like Oklahoma, where, as he put it, “we live in Edmond is a dot, a sprinkle,” Arizona had entire communities of diverse backgrounds. He regularly interacted with people of African, Latin, Indian, and Caucasian descent. He spoke about growing up with a second family that was Mexican, attending school with Indian friends, and being generally surrounded by diversity that felt natural.
That exposure helped shape the way he views the world now, and it’s something he hopes to recreate for his children. He emphasized the importance of giving kids opportunities to engage with different cultures, not just by teaching or telling, but by experiencing them firsthand. Living in Oklahoma now, he notices how some people take pride in staying rooted in one place and never venturing beyond it. His parents, on the other hand, gave him a different gift, the desire to explore.
Even though his parents were Southerners with strong military values, firm in their “yes, sir; yes, ma’am” way of raising kids, they also nurtured in him a spirit of openness. They taught him to see value in every culture. Now, as an adult, Sam loves to travel, not just to resorts or tourist spots, but deep into communities, where he can really understand how people live in different cultures. That curiosity, he believes, is a key part of cultivating empathy, connection, and identity.
For parents raising adopted children, we can learn to create space for exploration, build connections across differences, and help our kids feel at home in the fullness of who they are.
When Fatherhood Reawakens Adoption Grief
One of the things we touched on in this conversation, and that I’d explored in a previous episode with Christelle Pellecuer, was the concept of delayed adoption grief. She talked about how becoming a parent brought back unexpected feelings of loss and longing for the family she never knew. So I asked Sam, now a new dad himself, if fatherhood stirred anything similar for him. He shared that for years he’d felt some curiosity about his biological parents, but he also carried a quiet concern: would looking for answers somehow hurt the parents who had raised him so well? That tension held him back. Becoming a new dad brought another practical issue. When the medical staff asked about family health history, he was without answers. His wife could easily fill in her side. He couldn’t. That gap sparked a deeper need to know.
His adoptive mom had always told him, “If and when you’re ready, I’ll give you the information.” But as Sam said, “That’s different in theory than it is in practice.” Life was shifting; he’d gotten married, graduated from his master’s program, moved states, and now had a child. While his parents were beaming with pride over their growing family, Sam was also quietly wondering how and when to say, “By the way, I want to find out about my biological family.” Then came an unexpected twist: his oldest biological brother found him and reached out on Instagram. The timing was right. He didn’t have to initiate the conversation with his parents before finding his siblings; the door opened on its own. But it was still a shock. Sam had never asked about his biological family, so he had no idea they existed. And now he was forming relationships with brothers he’d never met.
They began texting, and now they talk often. For Sam’s 34th birthday, they met in person for the first time in Puerto Rico. Seeing each other’s faces, the idiosyncrasies, and the mannerisms… I imagined it was like looking in a mirror (they look so much alike). His wife, understandably cautious, reminded him to be careful. But that first meeting was full of connection and warmth. Still, questions lingered: Do we keep this going? Do we try to be a family? Or was this a beautiful one-time reunion? As the relationship grew, he eventually shared the news with his parents. Telling his mom was hard, but she knew it was coming. His dad listened; his little sister jokingly asked, “I’m still number one, right?” (Of course!) There was a lot to navigate, but also a sense of blessing. As Sam put it, he was gaining new family members while raising a new life of his own.
Sam hasn’t met his biological parents yet. He still wrestles with questions: Are they okay? Would reconnecting with them bring emotional or financial responsibility he’s not prepared for? There is still so much to think through. Sam continues to walk the complex, beautiful path of belonging to his adoptive family, his biological one, and the one he’s building as a father. It’s not clean or easy, but it’s real. And it’s a reminder that the journey of adoption doesn’t end in childhood. It transforms, reappears, and deepens over time, especially when life comes full circle.
The “Why Me?” Question
The reality of the situation propelled me to ask if there was ever grief in knowing his biological brothers got to stay with their mom, while he didn’t. That layered ache of realizing you were the one given up, even when others weren’t. His answer was honest and deeply introspective. He admitted that, on some level, at first, he may have shielded himself from that kind of pain by assuming that there weren’t any siblings at all. It was easier to believe he was the only one. But when he did learn about his brothers and heard about how they grew up, a stark contrast emerged. Sam was raised in a home filled with consistent love, safety, and support. His brothers, on the other hand, shared stories of running home from elementary school and hiding from difficult situations. It was a lot. Sam said he held back in those early conversations, quietly noticing the dichotomy between their experiences and his own. “I was very sheltered,” he told me. “If I were younger, maybe it would’ve been more difficult to hear. But as a grown man, I’m very grateful.”
Sam repeatedly returned to a posture of gratitude: for his adoptive parents, for the life he’s had, and even for the decision his biological mother made. When the time comes for them to meet, Sam said, “I’ll definitely say thank you for giving me up for adoption and giving me the opportunities that I have.” What struck me most was his ability to honor both truths: the love and safety he’s always known, and the existence of another family story he’s only recently begun to explore. He’s not rushing that process either. He hasn’t met his bio-mom yet, but she knows they’re all in contact now, and for the moment, that’s enough. As Sam put it, “I have a mother. I have a really good family.” And adding another maternal connection isn’t something he’s ready for just yet. And that’s okay. It’s a complex space to hold, and I know it will take a lot of emotional strength to navigate. My prayer is that he has even more grace when that time comes.
The First Months of Fatherhood
When I asked Sam how becoming a dad has impacted his adoption journey, he shared a beautiful reflection. His son is five months old, almost the same age Sam was when he was adopted. During a recent visit, his mom pointed out, “You’re getting to experience things we didn’t get to with you.”
Now, as he cares for his son, Sam sees just how much love is invested in those early months. “They’re helpless creatures,” he said, “so we get to pour a lot of love.” He and his wife also hope to adopt one day, continuing the legacy that shaped his own life. It’s clear that fatherhood has deepened Sam’s gratitude and brought his story full circle.
What I Wish More People Knew About Adoptees
As we wrapped up our conversation on adoption, I asked Sam what is one thing he wishes more people understood about adoptees, especially those just beginning to reconnect with their past? His answer? “I wish there was more adoption.” He wasn’t talking about adoption as charity or rescue, but as a natural expression of love, especially from people who are pro-life. “If you’re pro-life,” he said, “you should be pro-life in every component, not just before the baby’s born.” He shared how working with foster youth in San Diego has shown him just how vibrant and full of life these kids are. Sam grew up in a loving, safe, and nurturing home, and he wants people to understand that adopted children can, and often do, experience deep, lasting love.
As an adoptive mom myself, I took the moment to be honest about a fear I carry: that one day my child might look back and feel grief for a loss I couldn’t prevent and, worse, that I could somehow become a source of that pain unintentionally. I asked Sam what advice he had for parents like me trying to hold space for both love and grief without getting swallowed up by guilt. His tender response was, “Just do your absolute best.” The reminders Sam’s mom gave him about being chosen is the outlook he carries till this day. Even during the difficult teenage years, those words stuck with me. And now, as a parent himself, that same legacy of love is something he’s passing on to his own child. “You’re pouring out love,” he said, “and it doesn’t matter how you came about that love; it’s real. It’s true. And your child will carry that with them.”
Wearing Many Hats: From MC to Purpose-Driven Investor
Next, we get down to business. When Sam told me he was a DJ, in addition to being a brand developer and real estate investor, I had to pause for a moment. “Really, Sam?” Back in college, he juggled athletics, student government, and fraternity life, leaving little time for a traditional job. To make money, he started MC’ing trade shows and hosting events. After undergrad (where he was pre-med and even took the MCAT), he moved to San Diego and launched a staffing business that provided MCs and brand models for companies. That early hustle laid the groundwork for his DJ and MC company, which has since grown into a full-scale production business. He now has a team of ten DJs, and they’re performing at weddings and corporate events throughout Mexico and the Caribbean. That’s his “fun business,” he told me — one he doesn’t plan to sell anytime soon.
On the other side of the spectrum is Pivotal Investment, which Sam calls his “ultimate” venture. It’s been a slow build, initially funded from his own capital, but it carries a clear mission: helping people invest with purpose. The goal isn’t just to buy apartment complexes or industrial buildings for a return on investment. It’s to create what he called “societal dividends.”
So, when Pivotal acquires a property, they don’t just renovate and raise the rent. They hand residents folders filled with resources, including how to build credit, how to prepare for homeownership, and other practical tools. Sam wishes more people had access to these resources. It’s personal for him because he learned a lot of these lessons the hard way throughout his twenties. And he knows most people don’t get this kind of education, especially not in school.
Building With Purpose: Where Creativity Meets Community Impact
With such a multidimensional vision, I asked Sam how he manages to blend all his passions — real estate, brand building, and justice — into a single cohesive mission. According to him, it’s still a work in progress, he admitted, but it’s fueled by a clear desire to bridge the gap between creativity and impact. Brand building is where he lights up. He enjoys making things look sharp and organized. So when he steps into the real estate world, he gets to shake things up. Whether it’s introducing clean visual designs, utilizing AI, or incorporating new technology into development plans, he’s always seeking ways to modernize and elevate.
Under the umbrella of Pivotal Investment, he’s also building out Real Estate Relationships, an educational branch that demystifies commercial real estate. Most people understand residential real estate. But commercial? That’s a whole different beast. Sam is committed to breaking it down, especially for investors and aspiring developers from Black and Brown communities.
He shared how, just a few years ago, he had no idea that regular people (people like him and me) could buy apartment buildings, hotels, or retail strips. It felt like something “other people” did. Now that he knows better, he’s making it his mission to pass that knowledge on. He has been collecting everything he learns, writing it down, turning it into a curriculum, and preparing to teach the next generation of developers, because access changes everything.
Wealth as a Calling: Starting Early, Staying Anchored
Pursuing big goals at an early age requires a great deal of confidence. What was Sam’s? Exposure and perspective. Moving from a public high school to a private university with a $50,000 tuition opened his eyes. He realized that while he was there on scholarship, some of his classmates weren’t. They came from families who had been teaching them about stocks, bonds, and real estate from a young age. Instead of becoming resentful, Sam took it as a challenge. If others were in line to inherit wealth, he decided he’d work hard to be the one creating it for his kids.
The best part is wealth, for him, isn’t about status. It’s about purpose. He told me how, even as a child, he would tell people he wanted to be very wealthy. While that made some people uncomfortable, he stood by it. He wanted to be the person who could write the check, fund the mission, and meet the need, without hesitation. He believes that God placed that desire in his heart not for himself, but for others. He’s simply the steward. It reminded me of a financial class Taiwo and I once took, where the instructor had a powerful reminder framed in his home: everything we have will eventually burn. So, how are we using it now? That’s the lens through which Sam sees wealth. Not ownership, but responsibility. A means to bless, to close gaps, to serve others.
The Mentorship That Found Me — Through Pickleball
Being a mentor requires you to have mentors. So I asked Sam about people who have inspired him apart from his parents. He told me about Adam Robinson, a mentor he met during his master’s program. Adam wasn’t just a successful businessman; he was also the kind of person Sam admired in every facet of life — a solid husband, father, and mentor. Sam’s mentorship with Adam Robinson began unexpectedly. After being ignored a few times, a casual mention of pickleball during a group tour sparked a conversation that led to a meaningful connection. Adam saw that Sam’s ambition wasn’t just about wealth, but impact, and that shared value deepened their bond.
When it comes to his mentorship style, he’s thoughtful about balancing when to lead and when to give people room to find their way. He doesn’t lead with a “do this” directive. Instead, he creates space. He offers what worked for him and allows others to choose their paths. He likened his style to a blend of a counselor and an attorney: part guidance, part freedom. And perhaps most importantly, he emphasized that mentorship should be a lifelong pursuit. No matter how old or experienced you are, there’s always someone ahead to learn from and someone behind who can benefit from your story.
The Flight That Changed Everything
Sam’s love story began most unexpectedly on a flight from San Diego to Phoenix. He was headed to his cousin’s graduation, while Sarah was en route to Colorado with a layover in between. After a last-minute booking and a lucky seat reassignment, he found himself seated right next to her. Although the flight was short and the conversation stayed platonic, there was a spark. With both phones dead, Sam managed to find her on Facebook and left it in her hands. Days later, she added him, and he didn’t waste a second sliding into her messages.
From there, things picked up. He took her as his plus-one to a wedding, invited her to San Diego before she started medical school, and was impressed when she bought her flight (a total boss move). They spent a week going to Six Flags, church, beach dinners, and meeting friends. Still, Sam wasn’t sure how it would all work with her in Idaho and him in San Diego. But by the end of that week, he asked her to be his girlfriend. Now, they’ve been married for over three years. Here’s a tip for our single folks: get on that flight and slide into that DM. You never know what’s waiting for you on the other side.
Marriage, he shared, has been full of growth. With Sarah about to become an attending physician, Sam feels constantly inspired to level up alongside her. He loves how their relationship pushes them to dream big together and build the life they’ve talked about for years. What surprised him most? The ongoing learning. Because they started long-distance, they became accustomed to asking intentional questions to get to know each other truly. Even now, years later, they’re still learning, still asking, growing.
Travel, Culture, and the Legacy We Leave
As we wrapped up our conversation, I had to ask Sam about something that fascinates me — his love for travel. He’s seen a lot of the world, and what struck me was how even now, as a new dad, he’s not slowing down. His baby boy was barely out of the womb before he’d already been on a flight. The passport stamps this child is about to amass.
He shared how the Caribbean, in particular, has left a strong impression on him. Unlike the more common travel hotspots like Hawaii, he feels the Caribbean offers more cultural depth and flavor (plus, it’s a little more budget-friendly). But what stood out is how Sam and his wife approach travel with intentionality. They’re not just there for the views or the luxuries (though they enjoy those too). They dream of incorporating acts of service into their trips, such as organizing backpack drives and delivering supplies to communities in need before embarking on the “fancy” part of their travels.
That mindset, he said, is something he’s determined to pass on to his children. Yes, they’ll have access to things he didn’t — lounges, comfort, global exposure from a young age — but they’ll also know it comes with a responsibility. He and his wife are grounded in this idea: we are not better than anyone else, but if we’re blessed with resources, we should be a blessing to others. That heart posture, more than any travel itinerary, is what shapes the legacy they’re building.
Rooted in Story, Anchored in Purpose
Finally, we had some reflections. I asked Sam what he would tell his younger self, the version of him just starting, filled with questions and self-doubt. Without hesitation, he said, “Jump in.” That’s the advice he’d give: don’t wait until it all makes sense. Take the leap, even when things feel uncertain. He has learned not to fear the fall, but to keep moving, because many of those ahead of us have done precisely that: fallen, learned, and continued forward.
I followed up with a question for future Sam. What would he want to hear five or ten years from now? His answer was simple but powerful: “You did exactly what you said. You fell a few more times, but you did what needed to be done.” It was such a full-circle moment — acknowledging that progress doesn’t always look perfect, but obedience and forward motion count for something.
When I asked him to leave us with one belief or message he hopes listeners carry from his story, he pointed to the power of people. “Get to know people,” he said. “Everyone has a unique story.” We only scratched the surface of his in this episode, but it’s clear — Sam’s purpose is rooted in connection. It’s about building, not just in business or real estate, but in the community as well. He reminded me that life is not just about platforms or achievements but about people — understanding their stories, investing in them, and walking alongside them.
To Sam, thank you for showing up so thoroughly, for being generous with your story, for letting us see the beauty in your layers, from your adoption journey to the quiet decisions that have shaped your legacy. And shoutout to T-Dawg for being the bridge that brought this episode together.
To everyone listening: if this conversation stirred something in you, pass it on. Please share it. And ask yourself — what part of your own story are you still hiding? What would happen if you gave it some light?
Until next time, stay grounded, stay true to yourself, and keep walking your path.
🅻🅸🅽🅺🆂:
Download: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/rfkgmdzxkcscdyfi/SAMWHITE2025.mp3
Or on the website: www.mosibyl.com
Read the blog here: https://mosibyl.medium.com/reflections-of-a-grateful-adoptee-41a4bd6213e1
Episode with Christelle: https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-xhuk8-15fd6fc