Not Doing Life Alone & Crafting Meaningful Connections
The One with Doc Ayomide — Psychiatrist & Writer: Episode 23 (2023)
Set aside the world’s current turmoil. For every individual, there comes a moment when the end seems near. How does their community respond? One invaluable gift is to affirm that life is a constant dance with mortality, and we must embrace it wholeheartedly. Sometimes, a community’s most significant offering is the assurance that laughter remains, a reminder that joy persists despite challenges. — Doc Ayomide (2023)
In this week’s episode, we delve into a topic we’ve explored before, but our curiosity has been rekindled by a recent podcast episode titled “How To Not Go It Alone” by Julie Beck and Rebecca Rashid. This engaging episode has revived our interest in community building and navigating individualistic cultures. The podcast covers various aspects, such as forming connections, evolving values, the impact of technology on meaningful bonds, and the challenges faced by those who identify as self-made individuals. It also delves into how COVID-19 has influenced our social interactions. Doc Ayomide provides a captivating perspective, sharing his experience of transitioning to the UK as an immigrant. He eloquently describes the unique sense of isolation that citizens can feel, contrasting it with his own experience.
Drawing from a Cold War-era essay, Doc Ayomide explores the thought-provoking question of whether recreational activities hold value if the world is nearing its end — a theme that aligns with Stephen Covey’s reflections on the imminence and uncertainty of death and the role of community in the face of mortality. The topic of loneliness emerges, prompting us to contemplate the essential role of communities in today’s society.
Independence is not the ultimate goal; interdependence is the true zenith. Childhood is the phase of dependence, adolescence brings independence, and maturity is marked by interdependence. To truly mature, we must recognize our capacity to stand alone, yet also understand the power of unity and shared strength.
We ponder the contrast between the inherent loneliness often felt by citizens and the sudden isolation experienced by immigrants. Our conversation acknowledges the profound impact of the industrial revolution, fostering individualism and underscoring the importance of community-building, especially in urban settings. Doc Ayomide elaborates on the dual nature of freedom — the liberation from unnecessary interactions and the empowerment to engage with others. Our exploration encompasses themes of dependence, independence, and interdependence. He emphasizes the nuanced nature of interdependence, rooted in understanding personal dependence. On a personal note, my own journey involved a profound yearning to belong to a community after moving from Nigeria to the United States.
Doc Ayomide and I discuss our differences, cultural diversities, and the varying norms within different racial groups. We also delve into the importance of diversifying networks, highlighting the mutual effort required to understand and embrace different cultures. We consider the strength of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), likening it to parenting and underlining the pivotal role of community in parenting. An anecdote is shared about writing a heartfelt letter to a fellow parent, an action that bridged connections beyond the classroom.
As we conclude, we explore the barriers to community-building, acknowledging historical injustices, immigration sentiments, and eroding cultural identities. Despite these challenges, the intrinsic human need for connection remains potent. We share personal experiences of initiating connections, emphasizing the simplicity of responding affirmatively to friendly requests as a stepping stone to community building. Doc Ayomide underscores the importance of reaching out and reciprocating assistance. We leave you with suggestions for embracing openness and embarking on your community-building journey.
Being transparent about your values and intentions, reciprocating support, and identifying your needs are crucial. Small conversations, online engagement, and extending a helping hand can all foster meaningful relationships. Doc Ayomide poses insightful questions: Who can you be a friend to? Who can you listen to? Who can you support? While we seek companionship, we’re reminded of the significance of being a friend to others, initiating a connection cycle. Embracing vulnerability and identifying opportunities to impact others can significantly deepen our relationships.
🅻🅸🅽🅺🆂:
Listen: https://bit.ly/DocNotAlone2023
Download: https://bit.ly/DocNotAlone2023DL
Or on the website: www.mosibyl.com
How to Not Go It Alone: https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/archive/2023/06/building-community-in-individualistic-culture/674493/