Enduring Bonds
10년간의 얼어붙은 우정| A Journey of Friendship, Faith, and Family - The One with Dr. Olamide Somoye: Episode 10 (2024)
For this special episode, I am thrilled to recount an unforgettable moment shared with my dear friend and sister, Lamide, in London, Ontario, just two months before last Christmas. That weekend was filled with unexpected joy when her husband and I surprised her with my visit. The evening was adorned with laughter, singing, and heartwarming stories as we settled in to catch up. Though we aren’t musical celebrities, the songs flowed naturally, creating a magical atmosphere. It was a beautiful night. Throughout the episode, we journeyed through the peaks and valleys of our lives, reflecting on the critical moments that have defined our path. We embraced the surprises and challenges of hosting an impromptu guest, celebrating the enduring bond that has sustained us over the years. We paid homage to the steadfast friendships that have been pillars in our lives through countless seasons. This reunion was an important reminder that distance and time are powerless against the strength of deep connections. Despite being separated for over a decade, our conversation flowed effortlessly, enriched by new perspectives and an even deeper mutual respect. It was a testament to the timeless truth that true friendships only grow stronger with time. My visit rekindled cherished memories and revealed a heartfelt discussion about Lamide’s journey to becoming an incredible and dedicated mother. Calling her a “badass mom” perfectly captures her essence, and her children reflect her vibrant spirit.
During our conversation, Lamide expressed profound gratitude for the support and friendships that have sustained her through various life stages. She reflected on her journey and the joy of reconnecting with old friends. We reminisced about our immigrant experiences, adjusting to a new country while preserving our identities. We laughed about the vast distances in Canada, like the 33-hour drive from Calgary to Toronto, and shared stories of the challenges and triumphs of starting anew. Lamide’s encouragement to fellow newcomers emphasized the importance of networking, community, and perseverance. Her words resonated deeply, reminding us of the strength required to build a life away from home.
We couldn’t help but discuss the magic of Christmas in Nigeria and abroad. We fondly recalled Nigerian Christmases filled with family, food, and festivities. Lamide has recreated cherished traditions with her family despite being far from home. However, Lamide shared that she had told her kids there was no Santa Claus. She makes it known that its mom that comes bearing gifts. Lamide also shared how motherhood transformed her life. I do Christmas by collecting Christmas ornaments that tell their story and hosting cozy dinners and games.
We also discussed my spiritual journey and the struggles of maintaining faith amidst grief and life’s demands. I candidly discussed the compounded grief I experienced and its effect on my relationship with God. I can never start doubting God, I said. Despite hardships, I found solace in prayer and reading the Bible, even if my faith sometimes had its down times, the love of God kept waxing strong. Lamide’s determination and honesty were truly inspiring as I shared some of my experiences during this period.
Through her narrative, Lamide reminds us of the importance of faith and love and the beauty of navigating life’s ups and downs with grace. At one point, Lamide and I discussed the concept of default settings in our spiritual journeys. Just as technology evolves, so do our faith and understanding of God. Lamide eloquently drew parallels between the customization of our devices and our personal growth as believers. He explained how, when stripped of all external layers, our core beliefs, our “default settings,” reveal who we truly are. His journey with God has seen significant transformations over the years, much like the evolution of mobile phones from basic models to today’s sophisticated devices. This evolution, he argued, is essential to maintaining a solid foundation in our faith, especially when life challenges us. Our conversation took a deeply personal turn as Lamide shared her unshakeable conviction in God’s existence and goodness, even amidst life’s adversities. She recounted a powerful, physical encounter with God that cemented her faith, making it impossible for anyone to convince her otherwise. This encounter was a vivid reminder that despite the grief, anger, and sadness we may face, there is always grace and reassurance available to us. Lamide’s testimony highlighted the resolve of faith and the importance of nurturing our spiritual “default settings” to remain steadfast, no matter the circumstances.
We also discussed the evolving dynamics of boundaries in friendships. Lamide shared her insights on how communication and respect for each other’s space have significantly changed. While boundaries have always existed, they are now more explicitly acknowledged and respected. We explored the complexities of maintaining old-school values in an increasingly vocal and opinionated world. Clear communication in friendships, respecting personal limits, and evolving social etiquette were key themes. Lamide emphasized the value of authenticity in friendships and the challenge of balancing openness with respect for others’ comfort levels.
We also explored the complexities of maintaining deep connections in friendships. Our shared tendency to seek profound understanding often leads us to overthink and complicate simple interactions. Lamide and I reflected on the challenges of balancing empathy and boundaries and the importance of recognizing when a friend simply needs us to listen rather than offer solutions. True empathy involves not only understanding but also respecting the space our friends need, even if it means stepping back occasionally.
We touched on “touch and go” friendships — connections that may not always be consistent but are deeply meaningful. This notion hit home, especially in post-COVID relationships, where depth can sometimes feel elusive. While I crave deep connections, it’s essential to appreciate the varying levels of intimacy different friendships offer. Accepting that not every relationship can fulfill our desire for depth has been liberating, allowing me to find peace and value in brief moments with friends. This episode reminded me that friendship, in all its forms, is a precious gift, and understanding its nuances can lead to more fulfilling connections.
We also discussed the essence of community and the importance of not doing life alone. Building relationships requires active effort. Lamide emphasized that finding a community isn’t passive — it’s about making a move and investing in connections. Our actions and inactions influence others, and we must sow into relationships to reap rewards. Even when it feels one-sided, the love and kindness we give will eventually find their way back to us. Lamide shared personal experiences, reminding us that while it’s easy to become jaded by past hurts, building meaningful relationships is always worth it. Life’s richness comes from these connections. Check in on old friends and cherish the moments that invigorate our lives. Go out there, love people, and remember — we are not meant to do life alone.
🅻🅸🅽🅺🆂:
Download: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/9j6fqpgfcgqkync7/LAMOLDE2024.mp3
Old episode with Lamide: http://bit.ly/Olamide2020
Or on the website: www.mosibyl.com