Overcoming Fertility Trials as a Couple — The Husband’s Perspective
지지하는 배우자| The One with TDawg: Episode 34 (2023)
“It’s like this sudden vision: Like when I get to heaven, and there’s a tap on your shoulder, and glimpsing faces resembling yours but not quite — the children you never had the chance to meet. You’re in a room surrounded by these unseen souls, and I remember jesting with God about how crowded that room would soon become! I quipped, “You know how I grapple with social anxiety?” It’s an odd thought, isn’t it? Dark humor, yet a moment to reflect and share a chuckle at the peculiar irony.” — Mo! (2023)
“In Christianity, it’s said, ‘And two shall become one.’ So, labeling one party as the primary factor doesn’t align with our unity. Understanding the emotional toll our struggles took on you was a process. I suppressed my emotions, hoping for good news and facing disappointment repeatedly. Navigating these highs and lows, trying to stay positive despite the challenges, has been quite the journey.” — TDawg (2023)
Disclaimer: We will discuss depression-related topics in this episode. If you or someone you know is struggling with these issues, please seek professional help immediately. You’re not alone, and support is available via our ongoing fertility project. We discuss the mental, physical, and emotional stress concerning miscarriages, infertility treatments, and negative social and environmental factors that contribute to the mental stress that accompanies going through infertility.
Welcome back, Mosiblings, to the podcast! I’m excited to introduce a special guest on the show this week. Continuing our fertility series journey, I’m joined by someone who has been my unwavering support for over 12 years, my eternal cheerleader, and a familiar face on the show — please give a warm welcome to TDawg! Formally known as Taiwo Adedipe, my ever-supportive husband wears many hats: a family physician and a public health care practitioner who finds immense joy in his work.
In this episode, part of our ongoing fertility series spanning over four weeks, we delve deeper into the challenges of infertility that couples and women encounter in their quest to conceive. We focus on shedding light on these struggles and elucidating the reasons behind launching The More Sibyl Fertility project — The Hopeful 35. Our past episodes have touched upon various aspects of infertility challenges for our new listeners. We’ve shared laughter, celebrated victories with our guests, and opened up in vulnerable ways, including shedding a tear or two. The Hopeful 35 aims to provide support and access to women battling infertility.
Today, we have the chance to hear from the perspective of my husband regarding the challenges accompanying infertility struggles. We begin by discussing TDawg’s experiences navigating the emotional terrain as a supportive spouse. He admits it took time to grasp the impact of our infertility challenges on me, highlighting the difficulty in maintaining hope while facing recurrent disappointment.
We further explore the emotional dynamics that can strain relationships, particularly the suppression of feelings and emotional expressions. TDawg advises couples facing similar issues, emphasizing the importance of open, honest conversations to share feelings, hopes, and aspirations. He underscores the need to alleviate self-blame, especially when infertility issues originate from one partner.
Delving deeper into the conversation, we discuss the personal growth TDawg has witnessed amid our infertility struggles. He reveals that a significant turning point was when I shared a vulnerable moment recently, leading to notable improvements. His childhood dream of a loving, close-knit family and his aspirations for children have shaped his journey. Moving on, we touch upon our experiences navigating parenthood with our Ariife, encompassing both joyous moments and grieving periods alongside our infertility struggles. TDawg reflects on the privilege of fatherhood and the occasional challenges amid hopeful thoughts for the future.
Regarding our interracial parenting experience, we discuss the challenges of being ‘Colored parents’ raising a ‘White baby,’ acknowledging societal stereotypes. However, TDawg notes a gradual shift in societal awareness and acceptance of diverse parenting dynamics. We conclude this segment by commending his courage in discussing adoption as Africans — a topic often considered taboo in African communities.
Shifting focus to our flagship topic, The Hopeful 35, the Fertility Project, TDawg expresses his initial thoughts on my decision to launch the project and encourages support through donations or professional expertise. He elaborates on how project funds will be utilized to aid those in need, offering words of encouragement to couples facing similar challenges, suggesting thorough research and seeking support.
TDawg also shares the most rewarding aspect of our infertility struggles — our strengthened bond and shared journey through life. Additionally, we lightly touch on our mutual love for pickleball, sharing insights and tips for enthusiasts exploring it as a hobby or sport.
We hope our conversation inspires you to pursue what brings you joy. Your support, whether through donations or expertise, significantly impacts our fertility project. For any inquiries regarding the project, this episode, or our podcast, feel free to contact us at talktomo@mosibyl.com.
Thank you for tuning in, and remember every contribution matters.
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